Christocentric Discipleship Hedonist

The rain and the tears

2009-09-29T09:09:00.000-07:00

When there come a point in life when nothing works out, nothing makes sense, what is there left to be done? When faced with abysmal academic results, financial instability, failure in ministry, poor spiritual health, having home a place to avoid, and no one to share these with; and quitting altogether is proscribed; then there arise a question- 'where is hope? What to have faith in?'

Then we realize these are false hope and securities. These will fade; they will fail us. These are a hindrance to having God our only hope and security. Only when God have to painfully remove them, will we see the truth of God. This seems defeatism intrinsically, but that was exactly what Job, David, Jeremiah, Paul, Peter and many other successful fore runners including not so distant George Muller, had went through.

Rich ritualistic Job lost everything to gain intimate understanding of God and a few times the riches he had; the great king David who had such intimacy with God lost his confidence after committing adultery, murder, etc, to realize true worship and offering*; the list goes on.

Inevitably, the process comes with mental and emotional distress; having nothing left, we instead of holding back, should offer our tears. Michael Card in his book 'hidden face of God' gave a good illustration of rain coming when clouds builds up, so will tears fall when pressure in us builds.

When it all comes together, we will find hope, faith and joy in God all over; hold on! Remembering that when the disciples cried 'Teacher, don't you care if we drown', He was in the boat, yes, in the boat, feeling every wave that hits the boat.

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes.
There will be no more death
or mourning or crying or pain" Revelation 21:4a

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17

"A furious squall came up,
and the waves broke over the boat,
so that it was nearly swamped.
Jesus was in the stern" Mark 4:37,38a

The rain and the tears

I see the rain, falls down on the earth
The rain falls down,
When the clouds too weighty for the sky
So will our tears
When our hearts’ too heavy

As the rain falls down,
Bringing life renew
Will not our tears,
Bring faith and hope anew

Chorus 1:
He will take away
All our false hope
All our securities that will fade
Then He’ll be our hope, and our faith

I hear the rain, pattering to its tune
The rain falls down
Dancing in silent bliss on my roof
So will our feet,
When we learn to tear

As the rain falls down,
Flowing through the streams
Will not out hearts
Being flooded with glee

Chorus 2:
He will not promise
To wipe away our tears
When life on this earth
Is not filled with pain
He is our joy
For He cried our every tear

*From: 'Scared sorrow' by Michael Card

Musical Box

2009-07-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

Those of us who do not grow up playing PSP might have seen and played with a musical box in our life. I could remember staring at the ballerina in the musical box, listening to the smoothing music, letting time by. It paradoxically creates a space of silence from the noisy hustling world; a space of bliss after a tiring day of work or school.

This song was inspired through a Msn conversation with my friend, who was tired of the mundane life, concluding with "sad adult life".
I wish I could speak my heart. After praying for my friend, I thought I could use a song to sing the voice of my heart.

I have a musical box at home that is now filled with ornaments, sewing accessories, covered up in a cluster of perfumes and cosmetics; the box neither sings nor the ballerina spins. It is useful, but not used for it's purpose; it is purposeful, but left forgotten, never happy.

God made humans to enjoy life with Him, He is the Creator of life and joy!

Psalm 16:11

"You have made known to me the path of life;
You will fill me with joy in Your presence,
with eternal pleasures at Your right hand."

Psalm 23:1-3

"The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
He leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to His name."

Psalm 30:11,12

"You turned my wailing into dancing;
You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to You and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give You thanks forever.

So why not let the Creator wind you up, and let you sing and dance with overwhelming joy once again! God made us to be happy in Him.

Musical Box

Wind up your musical box
And let the ballerina dance
Watch her spin to the melody
In the silent bliss

Wind up your musical box
And let the ballerina dance
Watch her spin to the melody
In the silent bliss

But we’re all like the musical box
Filled with jewelleries and gold
Stacked upon with bottles of scent
Or used as a paper weight

Ballerina who was made to dance
Now trapped in daily mundane
If the box’s used for every other thing
Could it even sing?

So let The Maker wind your musical box
And set your pretty feet to dance
Then you’ll spin to the melody
Oh what bliss life is

So let The Maker wind your musical box
And set your pretty feet to dance
Then you’ll spin to the melody
Oh what bliss life is
Then you’ll spin to the melody
Oh what bliss life is

Lyrics: Jonathon and Wei Chuan

Sing with me brother

2009-03-21T07:46:00.000-07:00

18 March 2009 - Adam said the sinner's prayer.
10 April 2009 - Alson said the sinnier's prayer on his birthday. It was a good Friday.

A song to beckon fellow brothers to come celebrate for a return of a brother. In Luke 15, the women lights a lamp and swept the entire house for a lost coin; will not God also not rest till He finds that one lost brother?

Luke 15:4,10,32

"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them.
Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country
and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?"

"In the same way, I tell you,
there is rejoicing
in the presence of the angels of God
over one sinner who repents."

"But we had to celebrate and be glad,
because this brother of yours
was dead and is alive again;
he was lost and is found"

Sing with me brother

The angels are singing
With your name in their lyrics
Cherubim are dancing
And the heaven rejoicing

Celebrate with me
For I’ve found my brother
Who was dead but now he lives
Was lost but now is found

For there’s much rejoicing in heaven
Over one sinner who repents
For God would not rest
Till He finds that lost sheep
And brings it back to the ninety nine

The angels are singing
With your name in their lyrics
Cherubim are dancing
And the heaven rejoicing

Celebrate with me
For I’ve found my brother
Who was dead but now he lives
Was lost but now is found
Come sing with me brothers!

Sing with me brother.mp3 -

All I wanna do is to love You

2009-01-28T08:42:00.000-08:00

“Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.”
Psalm 73:25-26

This Psalm was my quiet time one morning in 2006, and these verses became my daily perspective ever since.
It tells of a person whose goal is to meet God in heaven, while living daily desiring Him. Knowing that we will sin, we will wander away from God sometimes, we have no confidence in our flesh and heart; relying only on God to help us remain faithful to Him. When we are weak, tempted, beaten, God will still be our portion, go to Him come what may!

This is my baptism song. I penned down one night, what I pray to do every day; to be hearing His word every morning, talking to Him about everything every night, and having each moment spent so close to God! I also know that there will be times when I will stray away, times when I do not enjoy God as I should; therefore I pray that God will take my heart away, and forever keep it in His dwelling place, where only there will be fullness of joy. God’s love for us is so faithful and enduring; if only we could love Him the way He loves us! The end of the song is the reason why I want to adopt this daily perspective as well as baptism song- because He first loved me, and His love for me, is beyond what we could receive or give.

Brothers and sisters, please learn this song so that you can sing along with me, and for me when I am in the water.

All I want to do is to love You

If there's one thing I desire
Is to make You my only desire
To hear from You every morning
Talk to you every night
Every moment by Your side

Chorus:

All I want to do is to love You
All I want to do is to give You my life
Love You the way You love me
Long for you all through my life
All I want to do is to love You

Lord I cry out to You
Pray my heart be renewed
With joy my soul is overfilled
Forever in Your courts it's sealed
Never let me wonder from You

Chorus:

All I want to do is to love You
All I want to do is to give You my life
Love You the way You love me
Long for you all through my life
All I want to do is to love You

Bridge:

Whom have I in heaven but You
Nothing on earth I desire
Besides You, besides You
You’re my all forever

Chorus:

All I want to do is to love You
All I want to do is to give You my life
Love You the way You love me
Long for you all through my life
All I want to do is to love You
Because I know You love me
And Your love for me
More than I could

All I wanna do is to love You.mp3 - Jonathon Teo

Before it's too late

2009-01-18T05:27:00.000-08:00

Still confused by what sounded like an explosion, I walked out of the villa with some siblings; in a distance was the sound of a bugle call. Before anyone could make out what was going on, the sun darkened, the stars started falling one by one. Instinctively everyone understood the signs, rushed into the villa and grab our bibles and whatever evangelistic materials.

I desperately shared to everyone I met, from old folks in the coffee shop, to youngsters in the streets; but even though some believed the message, many were either caught up with the commotion, or caught by the panic crowd in the commotion. Just as a boy was about to make a decision to accept, he was pulled away, in vain I held on to him, left only with a piece of torn sleeves.

I sat on my bed trying to get over the dream that morning in October 2008, then it occurred to me: requests after requests in prayer gathering, we hear people crying desperately "pray for my so and so because they have cancer, organ failure, etc, to hear the gospel". We see people preaching fervently, when their loved ones are on the dying bed. Must we wait till someone is on the dying bed then we share the gospel?

Must we wait till the last days before we realize that it's too late? By the way, the dream was exactly as it is in Matthew 24:29-30. Day to day we spend our lives away, busying making ends meet, busying making our lives comfortable, busy with things that will perish altogether! The walls of Jerusalem was in ruin and Israel left in disgrace during Nehemiah's time, the temple was in remains and desolation during Haggai's time, and the people were busy building their paneled houses!

John 4:35
Do you not say,
'Four months more and then the harvest'?
I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields!
They are ripe for harvest.

Matthew 9:37-38
Then he said to his disciples,
"The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.
Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore,
to send out workers into his harvest field."

Isaiah 6:8
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying,
"Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said,
"Here am I. Send me!"

Before it’s too late

I could hear the trumpet sound
In a distance cross the sky
The sun refused to shine
The moon will not give its light
The stars are falling
Nations are mourning
There’s when it’s too late to realise

Chorus:
Do you not say that it’s four months more
Before the fields are ripe for harvest
Do you not say that it’s four months more
Open your eyes and look at the field
Time to reap now, before it’s too late

With every passing hour
We’re losing souls to hell
Comfortably spend our lives
While our friends die in lies
The wall’s in ruin
Temple’s in remains
While we are busy with our paneled house

Chorus:
Do you not say that it’s four months more
Before the fields are ripe for harvest
Do you not say that it’s four months more
Open your eyes and look at the field
Time to reap now, before it’s too late

Bridge:
Should it come a day
Standing by their dying bed
Watching them slip away
Wishing that we would realise

Chorus:
Do you not say that it’s four months more
Before the fields are ripe for harvest
Do you not say that it’s four months more
Open your eyes and look at the field
Time to reap now, before it’s too...

We will not say that it’s four months more
The harvest plenty but the workers few
We will not say that it’s four months more
We are the labourers in Your fields
We will reap now
We will reap now
We will reap now
Before it’s too late

Before its too late.mp3 - Jonathon Teo

Time machine

2009-01-07T07:33:00.000-08:00

Being early for my lesson one morning in August 2008, unconsciously brought me into a time of solitude and prayer; well, more accurately, it was a reasoning turned rebuke session. I lowered the book "Desiring God" by John Piper when a thought hit me "how can a person keep his life so passionate and faithful to God?"

Sitting there in the canteen, I couldn't read on; as names flashed pass my mind, I began to justify myself. John Piper's father was a pastor, George Muller could not not depend on God for his daily needs, late Captain Ho Si Qiu got home unscathed after wrecking his father's car. I went on even boldly now: Paul was blinded on the road to Damascus, Peter denied Christ 3 times, the rest witnessed Jesus' life, death and resurrection. Since I did not had experiences liken to any mentioned, how can I be blamed for my unfaithfulness and indifference. I am sure if I had a time machine to travel back in time to at least witness these event, I would response as did the saints!

If I could travel in time to watch Jesus led Peter out of the boat, performed miracles to protect His disciples, or to teach them His words so dearly, I will be faithful.
Then I was led to recall how has God been leading me through His word, the many miracles He did thus far, and yet miracles awaiting me!

Perhaps then if I could travel back to witness Jesus' forgiveness, to know how it felt to be hit by love instead of stone, I will be faithful.
Then I am reminded, my sins are no less; He suffered and died for me.

One more time I tried: I would live everyday having eschatology in mind if I could behold the day of glorification.
This time, a rebuke followed: Enough! Whatever Jesus had done, I am a part of it; whatever was promised is for me! How can I ever forget that fact?

Why need a time machine to witness these events when I've received the compilation of the saints' journey? Knowing this, a desire instead of machine is needed: living everyday pleasing and enjoying with God.

Time machine

If I had a time machine
I wanna take a trip into history
To watch Peter walk on water
Or be in the boat when Jesus rebukes the wind
To walk with Jesus to Emmaus

But why do I need a time machine
When He’s always been beside me
To lead me through life’s journey
And miracles I’ve yet to see

If I had a time machine
I wanna take a trip into history
Smell the fragrance of the alabaster jar
Or watch the crowd dropping the stones to leave
Then Jesus said, go and sin no more

But why do I need a time machine
When I’ve received all of forgiveness
He walked the road to Calvary
To take away, all my sins

If I had a time machine
I wanna take a trip into the future
Shout of the Archangel, and the trumpet call
To watch the saints, raise up in glory
To be with Jesus forever

Why would I need a time machine
When all Jesus done was for me
All the promises He made
Someday I’ll receive
All I got to do is to remember

I wish not a time machine
But living everyday being satisfied in Him
Remember that He made each day
For me to, enjoy with Him

Time machine.mp3 - Jonathon Teo

I will live in Your strength

2009-01-07T06:47:00.000-08:00

Came home late one night in 2005 from youth fellowship, troubled.

Looking at how far my life is from being struggle free, I am beaten. So tired, I sat on my bathroom floor. Clueless of how much water was wasted, or how my skin turned wrinkled from soaking, I complained and whined, complained and whine to God.

However, I stepped out of the bathroom a totally different being. In an hour, this song was written.

Notice how the chorus is a perfect 5th transposed from the stanza? Notice how the song can repeat the chorus to bridge, bridge to chorus, chorus to chorus, bridge to bridge, but we can never transpose back to the stanza? That's life! We struggle and complain, whine and sulk, but only for a moment; when we know that Jesus is our strength, when we learn to live in His strength, we will not be able to go back to complaining again.

Hebrews 4:15-16

For we do not have a high priest
who is unable to sympathize
with our weaknesses,
but we have one
who has been tempted in every way,
just as we are—
yet was without sin.
Let us then approach
the throne of grace with confidence,
so that we may receive mercy
and find grace to help us
in our time of need.

Special thanks to Sheng Yang, my guitar ensemble senior, a genius who wrote the bridge with me after hearing the song once.

I will live in Your strength

Life is so hard
Harder it is a Christian life
Inevitable is suffering
I’m getting weary

Trails they never cease
An end to this I wish
On Your promises I will cling
For You will be with me

Chorus:

Jesus knows that I am weak
A high priest who sympathize with me
You are strong when I am weak
So I will live in Your strength

Bridge:

Come live in me (echo)
Give me strength to face each day
You walk with me
All of my days
Come live in me (echo)
Give me strength to face each day
You walk with me
All of my days

Chorus:

Jesus knows that I am weak
A high priest who sympathize with me
You are strong when I am weak
So I will live in Your
Jesus knows that I am weak
A high priest who sympathize with me
You are strong when I am weak
So I will live in Your strength

I will live in Your strength.mp3 - Jonathon Teo

I miss you

2009-01-05T07:22:00.000-08:00

Some song writers come about through having had professional training, others through copying, few born with it. In 2004, this was the first song I've ever written, and also the song that led me to discover my passion in writing songs to express myself. Not professional training, neither did I copy other's work, even yet untrue that I have a talent; it was a cry from the bottom of my heart to my best friend whom I have not communicated with coming to a year then.

We both were going through tough times after graduating from secondary school, thus the silence; but one afternoon, I received a sms: "Yihan, the raindrops that you cannot catch, or the stars that you cannot see at night, are the times that I've missed you." That moment my teary eyes stared at those words, every cell of my heart repeated it. I have to let Khai know that I miss her too.

As I began writing what started as a poem, I began to recall the other friends that I missed; penning down all the activities we did together, all the sorrow and happiness we shared, how we never missed a single rising and setting of the sun. The doodles still left in the classes, and the promise we made to be friends forever. Melody began to resound in my head as I scribble the words; finally every tune and words were stringed together by the message I received from her. (Just so you know, we eventually went to the same Junior College)

All you my friends whom I've talked with through the night, who gazed at the moon with me, whom foot prints were beside mine along the beaches, whose names we've imprinted in the classrooms together, this song I've written for you.

I delicate this song to all my secondary school friends.

I miss you

How long was it, since the sun rise have
The company of you and me
Each sunset reminds me of how
The sea splashes on our knees
With the night just moon and me
I wonder if the moon too you see

Chorus:

If you were to, catch the rain with your hands
Or count the stars with your eyes
The drops of rain you cannot catch
Or the stars you cannot see
Are the times that I miss you

Where else have we not been together
Which of your sorrows I did not bare
What happiness had we not shared
And now I wish the phone to ring and through the night we talk

Chorus:

If you were to, catch the rain with your hands
Or count the stars with your eyes
The drops of rain you cannot catch
Or the stars you cannot see
Are the times that I miss you

Bridge:

When school like wonderland
With lessons so sweet with doodles
How we hugged on graduation
With assurance never to part
Now ends of the world we are
I just want you to know that I miss you

Chorus:

If you were to, catch the rain with your hands
Or count the stars with your eyes
The drops of rain you cannot catch
Or the stars you cannot see
Are the times that I miss you
The drops of rain you cannot catch
Or the stars you cannot see
Are the times that I miss you

I miss you.mp3 - Jonathon Teo

Come to Him

2009-01-05T06:34:00.000-08:00

This song was given birth in the wee hours one early morning in 2005. This song was first inspired and written for a friend who was going through major stress, worries, difficulties and sadness in life. As my friend was yet a believer, what more a better solution than Jesus to offer!

As time goes by, this song became an encouragement for myself. I realized that I was not more writing as a third person than a first. I recall the nights I cried myself to sleep, the times when I wish someone would sit beside me to hear me whine. Someone who would understand that this life is very tiring, someone who would sympathize with my miseries. How the many times I can be with a group of friends chatting, yet their voices echoing by, and my presence is absence. Watching people strolling by in groups to canteen while standing alone along the corridor. The journey home takes forever, wondering why am I going home for, living for. Standing in the pew hoping that songs instead of tears would flow.

It was one of those sleepless night that I was thinking over how can someone in this stead be encouraged, the only answer I got was simply "go to Jesus". He is always there to hear every cry, telling us He cares; He died on the cross to take all our tears! He suffered every misery, and even more than we would, He is most qualified to sympathize with us! He promised to not only walk with us till our journey ends, He will lead us through every life's ride. Why cry in vain, and keep our broken hearts, when Jesus ask us to come to Him.

Matthew 11:28

"Come to me,
all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest."

Come to Him

Have you ever cried in vain
Wishing someone to know your pain
A friend that will be there for you
Whispering to you He cares

A friend that would hold you dear
Gave His life to wipe your tears
In Him there’s nothing to fear
Come to Him

Chorus:

Come to Him
Give Him your broken heart
Give Him your wondering soul
He will take care of you
Come to Him
He'll take you by your hand
And walk with you through your life
Come to Him

Tell Him all your worries
For He knows that you are weary
A friend who shares in your misery
Come to Him

Chorus

Come to Him
Give Him your broken heart
Give Him your wondering soul
He will take care of you
Come to Him
He'll take you by your hand
And lead you to your journey end
Come to Him
Come to Him
Come to Jesus

Come to Him.mp3 - Jonathon Teo

Live’in perfect love with You

2009-01-05T06:02:00.000-08:00

Written in 2004, in my earlier years as a christian, there were lots of struggles, youthful temptations that keep distracting me from walking faithfully with God. Yet as young as I was, I knew one fact, "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" Phil 1:6, so I will struggle to obey. Also there was one thing I had in mind, to learn to love God as He has loved me; it was the cry of my heart to want to live in harmony with Him. In the end I must acknowledge the fact that it is Christ, my righteousness, who is able to sanctify me, not my struggle to obedience, for I will never be perfected till the day I lose this earthly body.

The structure of the song is such that the first stanza is inward looking, acknowledging my filthiness and praying for forgiveness. The perspective of the second stanza changes towards looking at God, what He can and will do.

As I continue to live, no matter how far I've grown in my walk with God, I will never be perfect; but it will be my constant prayer to cry out to God to continuously forgive, and change me, so that I can live in perfect love with Him.

Live’in perfect love with You

How can I love You enough
Wretched life so full of sin
How can I ever be faithful to You
Trails and temptations they never cease
Lord, forgive me

Chorus:

I just want to love You
Just like you did to me
To live my life to please You
Oh nothing else I want
But to live, in prefect love with You

Oh Jesus, You know I’m frail and weak
Things that I do, sometimes disappoint You
But Lord I want to anger You no more
Sovereign Lord you can and will change me
My righteousness, come sanctify me

Chorus:

I just want to love You
Just like you did to me
To live my life to please You
Oh nothing else I want
But to live, in prefect love with You
I just want to love You
Just like you did to me
To live my life to please You
Oh nothing else I want
But to live, in prefect love with You
But to live, in prefect love with You

Livein perfect love with You.mp3 - Jonathon Teo