More about me and why this blog

Hi

In year 2001, a young prefect boy was sitting by the gate of a secondary school, allowing students whose name are to be recorded because of late coming to enter the school. A senior prefect came along one day, and my world was never the same from that day. It was the weirdest conversation you can find between a junior and a senior prefect. She sat beside me, and started telling me all about this guy called Jesus Christ, how He could heal people, how He lived a sinless life, teaching people, and most absurdly, walking on water. Silly though I was, that was something beyond my belief; still I agreed to go for a musical her church (eventually mine!) organized to find out more about what she was telling me. Before the actual day of musical, I was worshiping together with the casts.

I thank God for the many musically inclined friends He placed around me. In fact most of my friends that I am closed to are all musicians. He also made me with such a great passion for music! My first music theory was taught by my secondary school drum major, Khairunnisa, my best friend. Then subsequently in church, many seniors taught me how to play the guitar. Well, I wouldn't say that when I played the first chords on the guitar was to worship God, but as I progress and learn the instrument through worship songs, I grew in love, knowledge and ability in playing music.

Eventually through prayer, solitudes and studying of God's word, often other times my inspirations comes from friends, I learnt to express it in lyrics and tunes. I really thank God for giving me the gift of feeling music and poems, so much that when I read or write something, a tune seems to be attached to the words. Music has a way of amplifying the message.

I need to emphasise that I am not a professional, nor am seeking recognition or fame through this blog, but a sharing of the songs that I have written in hope of encouraging others through my experiences and inspirations. Each song is not a concoction of just poems and tunes, but my prayer and response to God. Please do not listen to the songs itself (for I don't reckon them as professionally melodious for appreciation) but do read the reasons and explanations of the songs.

Feel free to ask for the chords, just email or sms me for it.

The rain and the tears

When there come a point in life when nothing works out, nothing makes sense, what is there left to be done? When faced with abysmal academic results, financial instability, failure in ministry, poor spiritual health, having home a place to avoid, and no one to share these with; and quitting altogether is proscribed; then there arise a question- 'where is hope? What to have faith in?'

Then we realize these are false hope and securities. These will fade; they will fail us. These are a hindrance to having God our only hope and security. Only when God have to painfully remove them, will we see the truth of God. This seems defeatism intrinsically, but that was exactly what Job, David, Jeremiah, Paul, Peter and many other successful fore runners including not so distant George Muller, had went through.

Rich ritualistic Job lost everything to gain intimate understanding of God and a few times the riches he had; the great king David who had such intimacy with God lost his confidence after committing adultery, murder, etc, to realize true worship and offering*; the list goes on.

Inevitably, the process comes with mental and emotional distress; having nothing left, we instead of holding back, should offer our tears. Michael Card in his book 'hidden face of God' gave a good illustration of rain coming when clouds builds up, so will tears fall when pressure in us builds.

When it all comes together, we will find hope, faith and joy in God all over; hold on! Remembering that when the disciples cried 'Teacher, don't you care if we drown', He was in the boat, yes, in the boat, feeling every wave that hits the boat.

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes.
There will be no more death
or mourning or crying or pain" Revelation 21:4a

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17

"A furious squall came up,
and the waves broke over the boat,
so that it was nearly swamped.
Jesus was in the stern" Mark 4:37,38a

The rain and the tears

I see the rain, falls down on the earth
The rain falls down,
When the clouds too weighty for the sky
So will our tears
When our hearts’ too heavy

As the rain falls down,
Bringing life renew
Will not our tears,
Bring faith and hope anew

Chorus 1:
He will take away
All our false hope
All our securities that will fade
Then He’ll be our hope, and our faith


I hear the rain, pattering to its tune
The rain falls down
Dancing in silent bliss on my roof
So will our feet,
When we learn to tear

As the rain falls down,
Flowing through the streams
Will not out hearts
Being flooded with glee

Chorus 2:
He will not promise
To wipe away our tears
When life on this earth
Is not filled with pain
He is our joy
For He cried our every tear

*From: 'Scared sorrow' by Michael Card